


All I Want For Christmas

by shadowedrain



Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Christmas Morning, Established Relationship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, One Shot, Originally Posted on LiveJournal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22583251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowedrain/pseuds/shadowedrain
Summary: Andy's spending Christmas Eve alone, wishing for something, or someone, he can't have to be under his tree come Christmas morning.Note: This is a repost from my livejournal
Relationships: Roger Federer/Andy Roddick
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	All I Want For Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my livejournal back in 2012.
> 
> I have no idea what this is. I originally wrote it as part of an incredibly long Roger/Andy AU I was working on years ago, but it never really fit with the rest of the story. So I pulled it but never had the heart to trash it. Instead, I finished it and decided to post it here as a one-shot. I know it's not Christmas, so consider this a very belated gift to the fandom. I'm hoping you can find some redeeming value in it.
> 
> Also, if anyone is interested in reading an incredibly long Roger/Andy AU with supernatural elements, please let me know as I'm debating what to do with it.

It was Christmas Eve, a night of magic and wonderment. The scene appeared as though it was right off of a Christmas card or out of one of the many clichéd holiday movies repeatedly shown this time of year. The snow was gently falling on the silent landscape, the flakes having already piled up to make a flawless outdoor winter wonderland. The homes on the street were lit with a multicolored array of lights, the interiors dimmed in the late night as the faint glow of decorated Christmas trees shown through the windows. By all appearances, it really was the picture of perfection. Closer inspection, however, would prove just how inaccurate that actually was.

Walking into the darkened room, the only light that which was emanating from the lights on the Christmas tree in the corner of the room, Andy stared at the bright rainbow display in front of him forlornly. Sighing, he walked past it and to the adjacent window, pulling back the curtain and gazing up into the night sky, the stars twinkling down from the Heavens above.

Carefully watching the first one his eyes landed upon, he began to laugh at the direction his thoughts were taking. However, sadness and desperation took over as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, wishing on the shining star above in a way he hadn't in years, a distant remnant of a childhood he'd left behind so very long ago. He knew it was foolish and childish, but he couldn't help it, needing something to hold onto, something to offer him hope and a little happiness this time of year. It made him wish he still believed in Santa and the naive idea that simply asking the jolly man for what he wanted would result in it sitting under his tree come Christmas morning. Instead, he was left grasping onto the slim hope that maybe, just maybe, things would finally work out for him because this time it was his turn. After all these years, he would get what he'd wanted and could have that happiness, real happiness that filled his heart and burst from his soul, that seemed to have evaded him for far too long.

Just days earlier, things had been so different.

_The snow on the ground was just begging him to come out and play, freshly fallen from the night before. He stared longingly at it out the window, wanting to go out and be a kid again, but he was also being internally tugged in another direction. Shifting his gaze behind him, he looked at the figure on the bed and saw where his heart really lay. Not out in the snow, but here with Roger._

_‘He’s leaving in a couple days,’ he reminded himself. ‘The snow can wait. I need to make the most of the time we have left.’ Pushing the thoughts of Roger’s impending departure from his mind, he focused only on the here and now, and the man in his bed, smiling as he did so and padding across the room. Trying as carefully as he could not to wake him, Andy crawled under the covers and wrapped his arms around Roger, sighing as he stirred in his sleep._

_Turning towards Andy, Roger blinked open his eyes and returned the smile. “Good morning,” he said through a yawn, causing Andy to chuckle, and added, “You’re cold.” Seeing the curtains open where the American had been just moments before, he shook his head in amusement. “You were looking at the snow, weren’t you?”_

_Andy gave a nod, looking apologetic for having disturbed Roger. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”_

_“It’s fine,” Roger said and Andy could tell he meant it. “I think it’s cute. You’re just like a child.”_

_“I hope not,” Andy replied, shifting so that he was hovering over Roger, lips just inches from his. “If I am, then I can’t do this,” he said with an impish grin, leaning down to capture the other man’s mouth, getting a moan of satisfaction in return. Pulling back, he asked, “Still think I’m a kid?”_

_Roger vehemently shook his head no before pulling Andy back down for another kiss._

_It would be several hours later that Andy finally got his wish, Roger insisting that since Andy obviously wanted to play in the snow, that that was exactly what they should do._

_“But this is supposed to be our day,” Andy protested as Roger handed him his coat._

_“It is our day,” Roger said, putting on his own. “You don’t think I can play in the snow?”_

_Andy shrugged. “I just didn’t think it was something you’d want to do.”_

_Roger shook his head. Walking over to him, he caressed Andy’s cheek and leaned in, pressing their foreheads together. Looking him right in the eyes, he said, “You want to do it, so I do too.”_

_Between Roger’s words and the soft kiss he gave him, Andy felt himself melt in Roger’s arms._

_Pulling back, Roger laughed, saying, “Come on, let’s go outside. You know you want to.”_

_Face lighting up at the prospect of all that snow, Andy practically ran out the door, reminding Roger of a small puppy as he followed behind, putting his gloves on as he went._

_They spent the rest of the day having snowball fights, making snowmen and snow angels, and in Andy’s case, building a snow fort while Roger watched on in amusement. Finally when it became too cold to remain outside any longer, the sun starting to go down, they headed inside where Roger made them hot chocolate, complete with mini marshmallows and whipped cream._

_In Andy’s opinion, it really was the perfect day, but as with all good things, it came to an end as they sat in the living room by the fire, Andy nestled against Roger on the couch. It was at that point Andy’s fears from earlier reappeared._

_“What are you thinking about?” Roger asked him, knowing something was on his mind._

_Andy looked up at Roger, saying, “You’re leaving me the day after tomorrow.”_

_“I have to go home, Andy. My family needs me there for Christmas.”_

_“I know,” Andy said with a sigh as he returned his gaze to the fire. “You’re needed there, but I wish you could be here. It’s incredibly selfish of me, but it’s the truth.”_

_Roger pulled his arms tighter around Andy. “I love you. You know that, right?”_

_“Yes,” Andy admitted. He did know that. “And I love you.”_

_“Good. Just remember, no matter what, at the end of the day, I’ll always come back to you,” Roger assured._

_“Hmm,” Andy murmured his happiness as he tiredly drifted off, feeling Roger place a kiss on the top of his head just before he succumbed to sleep._

He’d been happy then; he’d had Roger. But since then he’d reached the conclusion that this thing they had couldn’t work, no matter how much he wished otherwise. He was here, Roger was in Switzerland, and rarely the twain would meet. As much as he loved the Swiss, he didn’t think he could keep doing this.

'You're dreaming, Roddick,' he told himself, shaking his head as he tore his gaze away from the night sky and turned from the window, the curtain closing on the scene he'd just been part of, even if only for a moment. 'Wishing on stars is a child's fantasy and it only works in stories and Disney movies. When has your life ever fit that description?'

Deciding he'd had enough, his heart unable to take any more futile imaginings of wishes granted and happy Christmas mornings, he walked back the way he'd come. He paused to take one last longing look at the tree before flipping the switch that extinguished its hopeful brightness as well as the little glimmer of hope he'd felt radiating from his inner child just moments before. The single action plunged the room into total darkness, the same darkness that threatened to encompass him, that he found he was losing the energy to continue fighting.

Body suddenly feeling heavier, he slowly made his way down the hall, up the stairs and to his room. Not even bothering to change, he fell haphazardly onto his bed and closed his eyes. A single tear made a trail down his cheek as he curled into the covers and buried his head in his pillow as sleep began to overtake him. For the first time that night, he felt relief as he entered the welcoming darkness.

* * *

The light filtering through the bedroom window woke him the next morning from his slumber, groaning as he squinted and rubbed his eyes, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness. After a couple moments, he managed to open them and sighed, realizing the day that lay ahead of him. He knew he was supposed to be happy, being Christmas and all, yet he couldn't force himself to feel that emotion. As much as he wanted to crawl further under the covers and allow sleep to envelop him once more, he also knew he would have to wake up and face the world sometime and decided now was as good a time as any.

Looking down at himself, he registered he was still in the same clothes from the day before. Unable to bring himself to care, he yawned and decided coffee was a good idea, dragging himself out of bed and padding across the room, out the door and down the stairs towards the kitchen.

Upon reaching his destination, he made his way to the counter and the coffeepot. Grabbing it with the intent to make the much needed brew, he noticed there was already some in there and it was hot. Shrugging he poured it in a mug and took a careful sip, closing his eyes and savoring the warmth as it spread through his body despite the bitter taste that met his tongue. If anything, he felt the bitterness suited his mood.

As he pulled the mug away from his lips and swallowed the hot liquid, his brain caught up with his body and the situation he was in, and his eyes widened with realization, traveling downwards and staring at it in shock.

"What the..." he said, trailing off.

Keeping his eyes glued to the mug in his hands, as though he were afraid even the slightest let up on his part would result in an attack on his person, he slowly lowered it to the counter. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out how the coffee had materialized into existence, unless there was someone else in his house, a concept that rightfully frightened him. Releasing his grip as the mug touched the counter, he turned around and slowly made his way out the door, carefully listening for any sign of an intruder. Hearing a rustling coming from the living room, he decided to investigate, but not before arming himself first. Eyes scanning around the room and taking inventory, he quickly caught sight of a broom and grabbed it, feeling that although it was highly unlikely to protect him from whatever possible threat awaited him, it was still better than nothing. Well, it made him feel slightly better at any rate.

Creeping out of the kitchen and down the hall, hand clutched tightly around the broom handle, he slowly came to the entryway of the living room and promptly stopped. For there in front of him, back turned as he stared out the window at the white winter wonderland, was a tall male figure that Andy would know anywhere.

“Roger?” he asked in surprise, voice just above a whisper as his pulse quickened and his heart threatened to jump right out of his chest. It was the last person he had expected to see, but also the one he most wanted to be there before him. Yet despite what his eyes and heart were telling him, his brain was having a hard time believing it.

Hearing his name, the man in question turned to face him, a warm smile on his face, returning the question with, “Merry Christmas, Andy.” He then took in the broom in Andy’s hand, now hanging far more loosely by his side, and raised his eyebrow in question. “A broom?”

Hearing the teasing tone in Roger’s voice, Andy shrugged. “I thought you were a burglar or something.”

Roger chuckled. “And you were going to attack me with a broom?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Andy was about to fire back a retort, wanted to even, when he changed his mind and opted instead to bite his tongue, not wanting to get into it with Roger over something as ridiculous as using a broom as a means of self defense. Releasing his hold on the broom, not even registering as it noisily clattered to the floor, he asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to bring you your Christmas present,” Roger said, as though it were obvious.

“You left your family in Switzerland and came all the way here to bring me a present? On Christmas?” Andy asked incredulously. “Are you crazy?”

Roger shook his head, smile still in place. “Only for you. Why? Do you not want me here?”

“No!” Andy quickly denied, explaining, “Cheesy pickup line aside, it’s not that I don’t want you here so much as I didn’t expect it. I didn’t think you’d come all this way for me.” He left unspoken, ‘I didn’t think I was that important,’ but Roger immediately picked it up.

Grabbing Andy’s hand, he said, “For someone who exudes so much confidence, you don’t think very highly of yourself.” Seeing him about to protest, he cut him off with, “At least not where I’m concerned.”

Andy raised an eyebrow. “Are you kidding me? You’re Roger Federer,” he said, waving his free hand as he said it.

“And you’re Andy Roddick,” Roger mimicked back, getting a glare from Andy.

“You know what I mean,” Andy said huffily. “I can’t compete with that.”

“You don’t have to,” Roger assured.

Andy looked deflated. “But you deserve someone so much better.”

“Better than you?” Roger asked incredulously, getting a silent nod in return. “How can you think that? And don’t say it’s because I’m Roger Federer.”

“But it’s true!” Andy argued. “You could have anyone you want, anyone at all, and you want me? What’s wrong with you?”

Roger surprised Andy as he suddenly broke into laughter. Seeing the hurt Andy failed to hide in his eyes, Roger stopped and walked over to him. Before Andy had a chance to say anything, Roger put his arms around him pulled him close and gave him a soft, slow kiss, causing Andy to close his eyes as he let out a small moan. Pulling back, Roger noticed Andy’s eyes were still closed as he tried to take it all in, as though this were the last time he’d be kissed by Roger. When Andy finally did open his eyes, unshed tears glistening as he fought not to cry, Roger realized he really did think that.

“You were going to let me go,” Roger said, stunned that Andy would even think of such a thing. “How could you do that?”

Now the tears really did start to come down his face as he quickly looked down so Roger wouldn’t see, which he did anyway. “Because it’s better this way.”

“Better for who?” Roger asked. “For me?” Getting no acknowledgement, he knew he had his answer. “You don’t get to decide that. Answer one question for me. Do you love me?”

Andy’s gaze flew up, eyes wide. “You don’t understand. If I do this then you-”

“No,” Roger cut him off. “Just answer yes or no. Do you love me?”

Knowing Roger would see right through a lie, and finding no other way out, Andy nodded. “Yes. You know I do.”

“Okay then,” Roger said simply. “That settles it. You’re stuck with me.”

“You’re sure?” Andy asked hesitantly, not wanting to get his hopes up.

Roger nodded. “I’m sure,” he said, leaning back in to kiss Andy who found himself in seventh heaven, all the while feeling like Roger was making a mistake but too content to care at the moment.

When the two pulled apart, Andy nodded his head, eyes closed for a moment before he opened them to look up into Roger’s. “Okay.”

And it was.


End file.
